In July, I happily became a first-time parent. I quickly had to learn what to buy (and why) to keep myself, mommy, and baby in good spirits. Thus, I’d like to share my insights with other first time parents, coming from the perspective of someone who lives in the Bay Area (think: more moderate weather, mainly using a car, more fortunate in terms of financial means).
Everything below is something our family has actually purchased and used, referred from family friends, Amazon.com reviews, or Wirecutter. I’m focusing just on the stuff we used for our baby’s first six weeks.
If you wife has a natural birth, you absolutely need to get the two items above to help with physical recovery. One of the things I learned is that the delivery uses the same muscles as going #2 (poopie). So think of the mother having the biggest poopie of her life (6-8 pounds!), and pushing for hours at a time. That’s not normal – think of the muscle soreness she will face. My wife cried from the pain post-birth until we bought these.
This was definitely one of the high ticket items we wondered about spending on because the hospital gave us an electric pump. Once we got the Spectra, we realized rechargeable battery = portable = going places with infant for more than a few hours will actually be pleasant.
Lets the mother breast pump with her hands free – she can now use a phone, eat, etc. My wife didn’t think she needed it at first, but I doubt I could take this away from her now without causing big problems.
As the mother breastfeeds on one side, use this manual pump to collect milk from the other side – often, the other side may start leaking milk on its own. Don’t waste liquid gold!
There are lots of brands like Philips, Medela, Dr. Browns, etc., for baby bottles They all want you in their ecosystem, thus pick one brand and assume you’ll stay with it across all your bottle-related items. These brands are mostly incompatible with each other, a huge pain in the butt, and something I understood too late. If you buy the items I list here, you’ll be fine but I’d buy from one brand if I did it over.
Really useful and aesthetically pleasing drying rack that we use exclusively for baby stuff.
General Health Around the Baby
Clean your hands, without sacrificing softness!
Small babies are not exactly easy to handle normally, let alone when wet. This helps when it’s bath time.
Use this on your baby’s butt during diaper changes to prevent diaper rash. Also useful for the neck folds area.
Use as an occasional lotion for your baby and to prevent stretch marks for the mother.
We currently use these and like them over the Huggies ones as they are less wet. \
Babies get boogers and someone (me) has to clean them.
Babies are well known for their razor-like claws (fingernails)
We don’t have a dedicated changing table (we are in a small apartment and space is a premium), so we place this on the floor or sofa (I prefer floor). We also bought a cover for the pad, but our son kept peeing all over it and we quickly realized the cover didn’t add any benefits other than aesthetics. The cover is hard to wash, but you can easily rinse or wipe down this changing pad.
You can’t leave the hospital without a car seat, these aren’t the days of beige Opals, optional seat-belts, and holding a baby in your arms in the car. This seat is well regarded and scored fantastically on crash tests.
When I put this together, I realized, “this is what quality and attention to detail look like”.
Helps you carry more stuff on the stroller. YOU WILL HAVE MORE STUFF.
This came free with the stroller organizer – check for an offer on the Amazon page for a code to get the hook.
Necessary for your infant’s first couple of months when he’s inside the Baby Jogger stroller. The Chicco KeyFit has its own infant support included.
See all the parents who walk with their babies with a kangroo pouch-like thing on them? This is it.
When we mentioned we bought the Rock ‘n Play to our doctor, she said “Babies LOVE the Rock ‘n Play.” So true. More sleep for the baby means more sleep for you.
I use this white noise machine for myself right now but I hear it can be helpful for babies too, in terms of drowning out random noise to help him sleep. Oddly, our baby sleeps through anything right now – I can vacuum a few feet away from him. When he becomes more sensitive, we’ll have to put this next to him.
If you want your infant to sleep in bed with you, this keeps him protected.
These two items are for the mother – after pregnancy, she may leak fluids for some time, and these prevent problems from leaks.
Swaddling is highly recommended by well, everyone, for the early months. Our son will wildly swing his arms while lying down, so I think swaddling helps calm him down.
Thinking about the SleepSack makes me want to sleep myself.
We haven’t purchased a baby humidifier, baby monitor, or bottle warmer. I still don’t feel the monitor is necessary because we live in a small one bedroom (typical Bay Area!). Bottle warmer reviews said warmers are not much (if at all) better than just warming up bottles in a pot. We use a tea kettle to quickly heat up water and then put the bottle with that hot water in a mug for warm milk in 5 minutes. As for a humidifier, maybe that’s in our child’s future. The Bay Area is definitely drier compared to the East Coast or many parts of Asia.
Other things not covered here but you will want to buy:
- Formula – even if you want to focus on breastfeeding, have formula as a backup. You can make it very quickly and it will start at room temperature in times where there may not be enough milk. I suggest Costco’s Kirkland brand.
- Diapers – Wirecutter likes the Target and Walmart house brand diapers. We have not tried them, but I am not averse to doing so. Either way, buy diapers from Costco. You can also buy from Target or Amazon, depending on different promotions that you prefer. Make sure the diaper you get has a visual indicator on the front of wetness – very useful. We use Huggies and Pampers and have also tried Babyganics.
- Diaper bag – we were lucky enough to have loving relatives who got us a great diaper bag. Inside the diaper bag, place travel-size bottles of hand sanitizer and baby powder along with the typical diapers, small changing pad, etc.
- Clothes – buy generic stuff at Walmart / Target. You’ll probably be gifted them too.
For the Grandparents
I’d long wanted to get my parents a photo frame that could automatically update with new photos from Google Photos. This frame had been well reviewed in the past, but only literally in the last month did Nixplay get connected with Google Photos via API.
This means that after setup (very easy), the photo frame automatically checks a designated shared folder for new photos to show in the frame. You simply add new photos to that folder from your phone – this convenience to keeping baby and grandparents connected is great and my dad loves it.
That’s all for now!
Invisible asymptotes, a recent blog post from Eugene Wei dissecting social networks, product design philosophy, and the celling for Amazon, is tremendous. I spent 7 years in Vietnam growing multiple social networks to millions of users, and thus developed a philosophy about how people engage with each other changes generationally and how new social networks emerge. Wei’s insights are spot-on (it’s true that I say this because his opinions largely match mine, but his are much better articulated and detailed).
It’s an incredibly long article, but well worth reading. Some of my highlights:
Defining invisible asymptote:
For me, in strategic planning, the question in building my forecast was to flush out what I call the invisible asymptote: a ceiling that our growth curve would bump its head against if we continued down our current path. It’s an important concept to understand for many people in a company, whether a CEO, a product person, or, as I was back then, a planner in finance.
In the case of Twitter, I think the theory is wrong. Given the current configuration of the product, I don’t think any more meaningful user growth is possible, and tweaking the product as it is now won’t unlock any more growth. The longer they don’t acknowledge this, the longer they’ll be stuck in a Red Queen loop of their own making.
On Snapchat and generational communication preferences:
I’ve written before about selfies as a second language. At the root of that phenomenon is the idea that a generation of kids raised with smartphones with a camera front and back have found the most efficient way to communicate is with the camera, not the keyboard. That’s not the case for an older cohort of users who almost never send selfies as a first resort. The very default of Snapchat to the camera screen is such a bold choice that it will probably never be the messaging app of choice for old folks, no matter how Snapchat moves around and re-arranges its other panes.
More than that, I suspect every generation needs spaces of its own, places to try on and leave behind identities at low cost and on short, finite time horizons. That applies to social virtual spaces as much as it does to physical spaces.
This is one of the diseconomies of scale for social networks that Facebook is first to run into because of its unprecedented size. Imagine you’re in a room with all your family, friends, coworkers, casual acquaintances, and a lot of people you met just once but felt guilty about rejecting a friend request from. It’s hundreds, maybe even thousands of people. What would you say to them? We know people maintain multiple identities for different audiences in their lives. Very few of us have to cultivate an identity for that entire blob of everyone we know. It’s a situation one might encounter in the real world only a few times in life, perhaps at one’s wedding, and later one’s funeral. Online, though? It happens to be the default mode on Facebook’s News Feed.
There is a purity about Instagram which makes even its ads perfectly native: everything on the service is an audio-visual advertisement. I see people complain about the ad load in Instagram, but if you really look at your feed, it’s always had an ad load of 100%.
I just opened my feed and looked through the first twenty posts, and I’d classify them all as ads: about how great my meal was, for beautiful travel destinations, for the exquisite craft of various photographers and cinematographers, for an actor’s upcoming film, for Rihanna’s new lingerie line or makeup drop, for an elaborate dish a friend cooked, for a current concert tour, for how funny someone is, for someone’s gorgeous new headshot, and for a few sporting events and teams. And yes, a few of them were official Instagram ads.
On understanding the root customer need from data and feedback:
True, it’s often difficult for customers to articulate what they want. But what’s missed is that they’re often much better at pinpointing what they don’t want or like. What you should hear when customers say they want a faster horse is not the literal but instead that they find travel by horse to be too slow. The savvy product person can generalize that to the broader need of traveling more quickly, and that problem can be solved any number of ways that don’t involve cloning Secretariat or shooting their current horse up with steroids.
Intuition “genius” vs data – no one you know is a genius, but a bunch of people you know think they are:
Lastly, though I hesitate to share this, it is possible to avoid invisible asymptotes through sheer genius of product intuition. I balk for the same reason I cringe when I meet CEO’s in the valley who idolize Steve Jobs. In many ways, a product intuition that is consistently accurate across time is, like Steve Jobs, a unicorn. It’s so rare an ability that to lean entirely on it is far more dangerous and high risk than blending it with a whole suite of more accessible strategies.
Just like athletes, there is a prime in one’s professional life. Michael Jordan can’t play in the NBA right now at aged 55 – just because someone had great product insight ten years ago, this doesn’t mean they have it today:
The reason I recommend a healthy mix of intuition informed by data and feedback is that most product people I know have a product view that is slower moving than the world itself. If they’ve achieved any measure of success, it’s often because their view of some consumer need was the right one at the right time. Product-market fit as tautology. Selection bias in looking at these people might confuse some measure of luck with some enduring product intuition.
However, just as a VC might have gotten lucky once with some investment and be seen as a genius for life (and the returns to a single buff of a VC brand name is shockingly durable), just because a given person’s product intuition might hit on the right moment at the right point in history to create a smash hit, it’s rare that a single person’s frame will move in lock step with that of the world. How many creatives are relevant for a lifetime?
Jeff Bezos talks about how every day is day one – every new day, there is a baseline to move forward and redefine what you can do. Continually win customers, don’t defend (lock them in) them from competitors.
You can’t overserve on user experience, Thompson argues; as a product person, I’d argue, in parallel, that it is difficult and likely impossible to understand your customer too deeply. Amazon’s mission to the be the world’s most customer-centric company is inherently a long-term strategy because it is a one with an infinite time scale and no asymptote to its slope. …
By discovering their own limitations early, they are also quicker to discover vectors on which they’re personally unbounded. Product development will always be a multi-dimensional problem, often frustratingly so, but the value of reducing that dimensionality often costs so little that it should be more widely employed.